New Beginning
by Loopstagirl
Summary: It had been one year since Camlann. Things were only just starting to live again.


_I own nothing, all rights belong to their respective owners._

_Happy New Year, everyone. Hope that 2014 is full of wonder and joy for you all!_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

Merlin breathed in deeply as he stared out over the kingdom he had helped build. Whenever things got too much, he always took the turrets. It was almost ironic in a way. During his first few years in Camelot, he had gone down to the depths when he wanted answers, trusting Kilgarrah to aid him. But now the dragon was free. If he was still alive, that was.

It had been a year since the battle of Camlann. It had taken almost that entire time for Arthur to start regaining his strength. Merlin still awoke drenched in a cold sweat at least once a week that he had been too late and his king had died in his arms. But they had made it to the lake in time, and the journey back had been one of the most eventful journeys of Merlin's life. They had spent nearly all of it arguing. Arthur seemed to realise that he had accepted Merlin's magic when he had been dying, but now had to accept it upon living.

Formally, the ban was still in place. But there hadn't been any persecutions since Merlin's secret had been revealed and Merlin knew it was only because Arthur had been so focused on living and then on beginning to rebuild a destroyed kingdom he just hadn't got around to making the announcement yet. Their friends had all been told on their return and their reactions had been better than Merlin could have ever hoped for. Leon was the only one who seemed dubious, but upon realising that his king had come to terms with it, he had accepted it. Merlin wished he could have told Gwaine, for he was sure the knight would have found the whole thing hilarious that Merlin – the clumsy one of them all – had managed to keep a secret like that for years.

But the news that Gwaine hadn't survived the war had hit Merlin hard. As soon as he knew that Arthur was going to live, he had retreated into himself. If Morgana hadn't been successful at taking his magic, even for that short amount of time, none of this would have happened. He would have found a way to use his magic in the battle, even if he was still keeping it a secret. If they had been victorious, if they had killed Morgana out there where she should have died, then Gwaine would have also been alive.

No one could break him out of his mood. It seemed the stronger Arthur got, the weaker his servant became. Neither Gaius nor Gwen had been able to bring him out of his room and in the end, the king had unceremoniously kicked it down and dragged Merlin out. Dismissing the room with just a glance, Arthur had then ordered his servant to start talking about what was on his mind. Merlin hadn't wanted to, expecting Arthur to scoff and claim that he was being foolish. After all, up until just then, he hadn't thought Merlin capable of doing the simplest of tasks, let alone being powerful enough to change the course of fate.

But he had been wrong.

In Arthur, he found someone who understood. As king, Arthur knew how it felt to be responsible for people's lives and Merlin had discovered that Arthur too was carrying the guilt. After hours of talking, Merlin realised that it wasn't just the war he was blaming himself for. It was everything that had happened since he realised that Morgana was no longer the woman they had once known and loved. Lancelot, Elyan, Gwaine and the countless number of others who had been killed in her campaign to seek the throne… Merlin blamed himself for all of it.

Arthur hadn't been able to get him to change his mind, Merlin knew that he was the only one who could do that. He needed to come to terms with what had happened and he knew that wouldn't be an occurrence until he had stopped grieving for Gwaine. The man had been his best friend for years, the confidant he had in Camelot even if he hadn't known the whole truth. Losing him had cut Merlin deeper than he realised as everything came crumbling on top of him.

To his surprise, Arthur hadn't even commented when Merlin found tears of frustration running down his cheeks. Something changed in their relationship that day and by the time Arthur left – a hungry Gaius making it quite clear he didn't appreciate being shut out of his own chambers – Merlin knew he had truly been accepted. Arthur hadn't just accepted the magic, he had accepted who Merlin was. No longer was he the clumsy servant (although Merlin had been quick to reassure the king that it hadn't been an act, he was truly that clumsy), but an advisor. It might have been his unofficial role for years now, but there had been something in Arthur's nod of greeting the next morning that made Merlin realise that Arthur was acknowledging it.

The next council meeting found Merlin sitting at the Round Table rather than just hovering behind. It had been a sombre affair, almost four months after the battle had taken place. It had taken until then for Arthur to be strong enough, although he would never admit it. Nothing had been discussed, there had been too many empty seats at the table for them to feel ready. But it had been a start, the start they all needed to know it was time to take up their duties and move on.

For if they didn't, Morgana still would have won.

The kingdom slowly started to gain prosperity as the year went on. The crops was a strong one and food was plentiful. The sideways looks that Arthur was giving him made Merlin feel that the king knew how he had encouraged the growth with a little magic but Merlin wasn't going to admit it and he knew Arthur wouldn't ask.

The king had surprised him. Merlin wouldn't have been surprised if Arthur refused to talk about the magic. It was one thing accepting it but it was another thing entirely to speak about it. Merlin knew how Arthur's mind worked. Speaking about it would make it real, but while it was just in his mind it was as if he wasn't happening. But although that was what Merlin had thought, he had been wrong. When they were in the safety of his chambers and the door shut, Arthur liked to ask questions. Merlin had lost count of the amount of stories he had retold or childish enchantments he had performed. It had been what Arthur needed though. Rather than seeing the evil in magic like he had always been told, the king was being given the chance to see the beauty and wonder of it.

Merlin sighed, pulling his scarf further up his neck. He knew he should really invest in warmer clothes. Arthur might not have made it official that Merlin was now his advisor, but the warlock had noticed a difference in his pay. Not to mention Arthur had taken on someone else, claiming it was because Merlin couldn't run around after both him and Gwen without messing it up. But Merlin often found himself pouring over old books that Arthur had discovered locked away in the library. They had all been books on magic and Merlin couldn't believe how much he had learnt.

It was because of that reason Merlin knew he wouldn't be able to rid himself of the guilt. It had barely been a year since he had lost so many of his friends and almost lost the king. And now, if he was completely honest with himself, this was the happiest he had been. No longer did he have to worry about Arthur finding out his secret, nor feel bad that he was lying to his closest friend. With Morgana gone, there wasn't a threat every other week almost destroying everything he hold dear. Arthur listened to him, so Merlin was no longer the only one seeing when things weren't right.

It was everything he had ever wanted, and he hated the fact that his friends had given their lives in order for it to come about.

"I thought I would find you up here."

The voice made Merlin jump, although he should have known it was coming. Since he had stopped lying to Arthur, the king had gained an ability to read his servant like an open book. Dark thoughts only had to begin to work their way into Merlin's mind, and Arthur knew about it. For all of these years, Merlin had been battling to save Arthur. Now, it was like the king's turn to save him.

"Really?"

"Yes, you barely ate anything at dinner." Merlin smiled, making sure he kept his gaze on the kingdom. Lights were flickering into life across the town now that darkness had fallen and it was as if the world was at peace. The king of Camelot came to join him, pulling his cloak further around himself.

"You have to be careful, it could be an insult to your king if you refuse to eat."

"Is that so?" Merlin grinned as he glanced at Arthur, finding the king watching him. Arthur nudged him in the shoulder with his own before turning to stand next to him, following his gaze.

"What is it?"

Merlin shrugged. He didn't know how he could tell Arthur that he still felt guilty. Saying he wished things had been different could mean admitting that he wished it had all ended a year ago. That wouldn't be what he meant in the slightest, but he wasn't in the mood to try and explain himself. Arthur seemed to understand his silence for he nodded gently but didn't say anything. Merlin had never considered Arthur to be one for tact, but it seemed that he hadn't helped himself over the years by the constant lies. Now, Merlin had to snigger at some, wondering what had been going through his head when he had told the king that he was looking for woodworm.

"I know something that might cheer you up," Arthur continued quietly and Merlin turned to look at him properly. It wasn't often he heard that emotion in Arthur's voice, but it was as if the king was nervous. Merlin frowned, wondering where Arthur was going with this.

"Don't tell me, you found someone else to wash your socks?"

"I might have to if that lazy manservant of mine doesn't start doing his actual job. But no." Merlin's frown only deepened when Arthur reached into his cloak, pulling something out. It seemed to be a scroll of sorts, the type Arthur used to plan out the council meetings. Merlin wanted to make some snide remark about the king wanting him to check it over for him, but something made him stop. If Arthur had been asking Merlin's opinion, he would have just thrust the scroll at him and told him to get on with it, knowing that Merlin knew what he meant. But he had sounded nervous, as if he was building up to something.

"What's that?"

"Take it and you'll find out." There was an abruptness to Arthur's actions as he forced the scroll into Merlin's hand before turning to look back over the kingdom. Whatever this was, Arthur was truly concerned about what Merlin's reaction was going to be. The frown still on his face, Merlin untied the ribbon around it and unrolled the parchment. His eyes scanned over it and Merlin thought that he might have stopped breathing.

It took him three reads and he still wasn't sure it had sunk in before he slowly looked up at Arthur. The king might have been looking away when he knew that Merlin was watching him, but it was clear he had been watching him read and was just waiting for a reaction. He was even biting his lip nervously.

Merlin could only stare.

Eventually, Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Well? Go on, don't stand there like the idiot that you are, say something."

"Are you really going to do this?" Merlin found himself asking. Inwardly, he was cursing himself for being stupid. It was everything that he had ever wanted and he was questioning it! What was wrong with him? Judging by the look on Arthur's face, he was thinking the same thing and one eyebrow raised in incredulous. It was such an uncanny impression of Gaius that Merlin found himself squirming.

"I think it is time, don't you?" Arthur said quietly, confidence beginning to return to his voice. Merlin turned to look at him full on.

"Even after everything your father tried to do?"

"My father was blinded by his hatred and fear, I see that clearly now. So was Morgana. Even if she had got the throne, it never would have been freedom under her, not like she believed." This was the first time that Arthur had brought up any hint at what the last few years had held for them and Merlin smiled reassuringly. He knew how much the betrayal still hurt.

"Arthur…"

"If you're as powerful as the Druids seem to believe, then surely you will be more of a threat standing at my side rather than lurking in the shadows? And the threat alone will stop anything from happening in the future, meaning nothing like this can ever occur again."

"Was that a compliment?" Merlin quipped, the corners of his mouth beginning to turn up. Arthur nudged him and took the scroll back out of his hands, resealing it before tucking it into his cloak.

"You're acting like this is only a big deal for me," Arthur said quietly, pointedly avoiding Merlin's gaze. "And as much as you try and deny it, I know it took you a while to come to terms with the fact that your friends know the truth. This will change everything for you. Are you sure you are ready?"

"I was born ready," Merlin said lightly, but he made sure that he caught Arthur's eye. They had learnt to read each other over the years and he knew that Arthur would be able to see in his eyes just how much this meant to him. Merlin knew it would change things and that his life would never be the same. Although he was nervous – more than he would ever admit to Arthur – he also knew that his king was right. The time had come for things to change.

Arthur held his gaze for a moment before softly dipping his head. Merlin returned the nod, watching as Arthur turned to leave. The king reached the stairwell before he seemed to realise that the warlock hadn't moved. He glanced back at Merlin.

"Are you coming? I can't very well practice what I'm going to say to lift the ban without my new Court Warlock there, can I?"

"You…_what?_" That part certainly hadn't been in the drafted speech and Merlin found that he was once again gaping. Arthur rolled his eyes fondly.

"Come on," with those words, he disappeared from sight and Merlin followed. He took a moment to pause and glance up at the stars for a moment. He gave a small smile and repeated the nod he had just given Arthur.

"I won't let you down again, I swear," he vowed. With the ban on magic lifted, Merlin knew he was going to do everything in his power to make sure he didn't lose people through unnatural means again.

This was the Golden Age the dragon had prophesised. This was the true beginning to everything that Merlin had been working towards ever since he arrived in Camelot. Considering the king was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs, Merlin knew one thing for certain.

They were going to lead the kingdom into the new dawn, side by side. Just like they had always been.


End file.
